LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Thursday, December 5, 2013

PCOS Be GONE!!

I know I haven't been on much.  My plan to get into more of a routine has not panned out the way I planned.

The job I started has very much not been what I expected.  I was told by my temp agency that it was an office job- I turned up in heels my first day- which it very much is NOT.  I basically work in a warehouse (a pretty nice one, but still, a warehouse).  Once I was over the initial shock, however, I realized I love it.  The people are pretty great, and the work itself is pretty painless mentally (I do some of the setup/paperworky stuff, and get to boss the other temps around a little, lol).  It probably isn't a realistic long-term option (I couldn't really do this work if I have a family... which the Fiance and I are planning on eventually.  Also, yes fiance!!)... but for now, it's amazing to have a job I actually enjoy.  That hasn't happened to me in a very long time.

Unfortunately, I do still work on my feet 8-10 hours a day... plus a 40 minute commute... So, I rarely have a workout in me when I get home.  But I'm maintaining.  Being mindful of what I'm eating without obsessing over it, and getting a lot of movement in my day (I think standing/walking/lifting for 8 straight hours does constitute a workout in many ways).

And, what's really amazing...

I have had a number of tests run at the gyno recently (First there was a miscarriage... then there was a possibility of cancer, but luckily I seem to be fine.  Physically for sure... mentally I'm just about there, too.).

I asked them that whilst they were running labs on me anyway, that they do check in on how my PCOS is doing (I was hoping they would put me back on my Metformin).  And- AND??  Perfectly normal testosterone levels!!!  Translation:  NO ACTIVE PCOS!!!

I did it!  I freaking did it!  It's 'gone' (or as close as it will ever be)!!  I'm So. Freaking. Proud.  Seriously, it has never even really occurred to me that not having it be an issue would ever be an option- let alone being responsible for it being gone simply through taking better care of myself (Ok, and the Fiance pushing me to actually GO for checkups.  Whatever, lol.).

And even more-  to know that all the infertility struggles I dealt with while with my ex will never have to be a strain on my relationship with Ben... wow.  Just... wow.  Like, when we decide it's time I'll be able to get pregnant without needing any medical intervention?  Wow.

The miscarriage really hit me hard because I figured it could never happen again.  Like it was a freak thing (the pregnancy wasn't planned) that I would only ever get one shot at.  I'm still upset... but that fact that it isn't impossible, and I didn't miss my window, and all I have to do is take care of myself and things can be 'normal.'

Yeah.  Wow...

Sunday, October 20, 2013

I'm Back Bitches

Soo... I hopped on the scale for the first time in quite a while...

245.2

Ugh.  I've gained back just under 10 pounds.

I'm not surprised, I'm not happy... but I'm not that upset, either.

I wasn't doing much in the vein of exercise, was eating whatever I wanted allll the time, I was eating my feelings because my job was making me miserable and I have some medical testing and things going on...

Frankly, I'm kind of happy it wasn't more.

I finally got a new job.

I'm desperately searching for a workout buddy (because I know I'm better at taking care of others than I am myself- therefore I'm less likely to let someone down by not showing up then if it was all on me).  I want to try Crossfit but I'm not quite ready yet (physically or financially), but will probably go to some yoga classes first...

So this next week or so, I'm going to ease back into it.  Learn my new schedule, work with that... and go from there...

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Missed Check-ins

Soo... I haven't posted in a couple of weeks.

Oopsie.

I kept oversleeping on Sundays (my usual weigh-in day) and forgetting to hit the scale before I headed out to work.

I have been keeping an eye on things, weighing occasionally but not oficially, etc.

And I'm maintaining.

236.4 this morning (maintained from last week).

I'm not thrilled, but I'm not surprised.

I have been hitting the gym, but not as much.  Watching my intake sometimes, indulging sometimes.  Not sleeping nearly enough, but trying out this whole 'having a life' thing.

Basically doing exactly what I hope to when I hit goal.  Maintaining a balance...

Problem being I'm a long ways away from goal, lol.  But then again, in the past if I wasn't paying utterly exacting attention I would immediately pack pounds back on... so sanity and maintenance is something new.  And I'm pretty proud of that, too.

I have been going to local NA meetings lately, to support someone close to me, and find they really help me.  Like much more than I would've anticipated.  I had stopped into an OA meeting a time or two before, and was very turned off by them (partly because OA is pretty specific to OA and not broader ED as addiction, and partly because I didn't exactly gel with middle-aged biblethumping women... glad that works for them, but lightyears away from my reality); NA meetings, however, appeal to me much more.  They're a far less judgemental group and the definition of addiction is much broader, as is their 'higher power' outlook (vs a Christian God).

Every little bit, I suppose.

Also, I'm testing out a bit of aversion therapy on myself tonight.  We're having some people over to swim... and I'm wearing a bikini... and, theoretically at least, the world probably won't end.  Wish me luck.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Stable

238.2

-.2

I'll take a maintenance week.  No complaints.  Especially considering I may or may not have been to Geno's in Philly at about 1am last night (a group of us went to a concert.  It was awesome.).

I'm inching along... but I think I'm doing it in a healthy way?  As much as I want to lose the weight, I don't want to trigger myself.  I want to enjoy life and do things with my friends.  I want to be healthy, but cheat sometimes, but not let things spin out of control...

And I think I'm doing that?  I'm not sure, but I'm trying.

Also:
Not the best photo, but you get the gist.
My next challenge: wear this in front of people other than the boyfriend.

But hell, not too shabby for 240, lol.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Is it called a decade?

238.4!!!!!!!

Holy fuckballs!!  I haven't seen the 230's since college.  I'm down into the next... decade? ...set of 10?

Whatever, awesome.  I can't express the amount of thrilled.

I weighed in before work, and promptly proceeded to have a cupcake for breakfast at morning meeting.
Oops.

It's actually a good thing, in a way, though.  I said no to said cupcakes all week.  Seriously, they brought them in every. damn. day.  But today, in the midst of my PMS, I saw it.  It was chocolate, with dark chocolate chunks, and mocha icing... it had to be mine.  We were meant to be together.  And it was fine.  I didn't give up on the rest of the day, or totally obliterate my calorie plans.  I just had a reasonable amount of something I wanted and didn't kick myself over it.  Mini-win.

As for my headspace, I'm doing fairly well.  I'm stll dealing with a lot of triggers and negative self-'talk'.  I am, however, mostly catching them before they come out of my mouth ar affect my actions.  I'm getting there... sloowwwlllyyyy.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Flux

Well, this week...

240.6

That's +.4

But I'm not too worried.

I felt like last week's weigh-in might have been a fluke (down nearly 5 lbs and I hadn't been entirely on plan?)... but this week I was totally in the zone, and I gained a little.

All-in-all I think the last two weeks basically evened each other out.

Hopefully I'll kill it this week and break out of the 240's for the first time since... since... wow, I don't even know when...

Wish me luck.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Woot!

240.4!!!

That's a 4.4 lb loss this week!!!!!

I have no idea how or why... but hell yeah!

I'm past the 50 lb mark again.

Boom.