LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Monday, October 31, 2011

West Coast Aftermath Weigh-in

So in the wake of my trip... I gained 3.1 pounds.

Am I sad that I have to hit the 260's for a second time in as many weeks?  Yes.

Am I upset with myself?  Absolutely not.

I made MUCH better choices then I would have previously.  I had meals at some restaurants I HAD to have (Taco Mesa and In-n-Out were non-negotiable), but (other than one regrettable binge night with the old roomie) didn't go crazy with food otherwise.

Beer calories... well... oh well.

I had an amazing time.

I reconnected with family I'm lucky to see more than once every 5 years or so.  I visited with friends that leave a hole in my heart every time I realize we're on opposite sides of the country.  I got to spend time and build relationships with some cousins in particular on equal footing as 'adults' (the term is relative, but whatever)- something that is another statement on how rarely I get to see them.

I realized there are options in life, I gained some clarity, I got some good advice, and I'd like to think I gave some as well.

So, whilst I may have had a week's 'setback' on my weightloss, it would be an insult to what I gained this past week (besides the weight, of course) to call it that.

The Halloween candy taunting me from the closet for an extra week because trick-or-treating in my town was postponed until Friday may be a different story...  Goddess, grant me willpower!  Eek!

Friday, October 21, 2011


I made it!  269.2!

I even have a tiny bit of wiggle room to try and, you know, STAY in the 260's while I'm away.

Which will be no mean feat with a wedding and a Vegas trip in there.  We'll see.  Eek.

Ok, now to run around the house grabbing last minute items and probably forgetting to pack stuff.

Have a great week, everyone!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Weigh-in Day #10- Chugga Chugga


Also, I KILLED my workout today (and hope to all week).

I will take it.  Do I wish it was more?  Yes, but I also acknowledge the cupcake, etc... and I'm ok with the trade-off.  I'm fighting like mad to go long term this time, and I know being super strict does NOT work for me.  I'll tortoise it up, it's cool, lol.

I did/do, however, reallllyyyyy want to be in the 260's by the time I go to California for my cousin's wedding... uhm, Friday.  So, I have 4 days of workouts (I'm counting Friday morning since I don't leave until the afternoon) and being 'good' to try and lose 2.6 lbs.

Oh, and I made cake for the Hubs Birthday tonight... sooo... good probably isn't going to be perfect... again.

Why the 260's?  Good question.  There's just something about them.  265 is my first 'big' goal.

The last time I was in really good shape (for me) I was working at a stable.  I spent all day on my feet, running around, controlling enormous animals, throwing hay bales (I can carry two at a time- diesellllll!!! lol), and just all around busting my ass doing physical labor 6 days a week.  I weighed 265.  Doing all that.  And it also means I'll be back at the weight I was before we started IVF and and the hormones and stress made me gain.

So I guess getting close to there on my own, without all that craziness, means a lot.  Plus I only see this part of my extended family every couple years... so I just want to look as good as possible, you know? Meh.

Can I do it? I don't know.  I'm going to try.  But I don't have the time or energy to kill myself here.  I have soooo much shit to do this week.

So, I shall do my best, and hope for 269.9

Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting Better at Budgeting My Calories

I had a cupcake tonight.

It was so good I asked it if it wanted to have children with me.

Would it have been better to not have the cupcake?


I say probably because when I get a craving I have a terrible tendency to eat everything in sight until I get whatever it was that I wanted in the first place (aka sugar free pudding is NOT the same thing as a cupcake.  I LITERALLY can't even kid myself with that crap, lol.)- so if that happened the cupcake would be the better option... if I could just skip it altogether it would be a different story.  I'm getting better about that, too, but it's not the point.  I digress... anyway.

The point is, I ate well all day otherwise.

So even with the cupcake I was still under 1500 calories for the day.

A reasonable calorie goal AND something I was craving.

I'm calling that a win.

It might even be a sustainable way to live.  Who knew...

Monday, October 10, 2011

Friend Makin' Mondays

Now it’s time for FMM!  If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: All the Weigh so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

This is my first time taking part in Friend Makin' Mondays- and I'm excited!  Here goes:

FMM: 8 Taboo Topics
  1. How often do you read/watch the news?  I almost never watch the news- but I read news from a few different sites on and off throughout the day.
  2. What is your opinion on beauty pageants?  I think that they could be fun, maybe even good, if they were more of a friendly competition and the intelligence and talent portions actually counted for something.  You know, inner beauty and all that.  As it stands, they're pretty ridiculous.
  3. Would you date/marry someone who has different religious views than you? I am married to someone with different views than my own.  The Hubs is Catholic, and I'm more 'spiritual' (I lean towards Native American and Ancient Celtic belief systems).  We both make accommodations for the other's beliefs, and don't expect eachother to believe in the same way.  It's all about mutual respect.
  4. Do you follow politics? Somewhat.  Just enough to be intelligently informed.  I find that if I pay too much attention things get pretty depressing...
  5. How often do you talk about sex in your daily life and/or on your blog?  Define 'talk about.'  I'm generally the first with a 'that's what she said' joke... but I doubt that counts, haha.  I'd say probably average- when it comes up in conversation with the girlfriends, etc...  On my blog, thus far almost never.  I'm not intentionally avoiding it or anything- I just haven't had any reason to.  My old blog was an infertility blog and was chock full of indelicate discussion, though, so it might be a little subconcious avoidance. ;-)
  6. Does it make you uncomfortable when someone asks you about your salary/income? Does it ever happen?  Yes and no.  It really depends on the situation and who's asking.  Certain friends and I often discuss budget and things, so it comes up and that's fine.  Unsolicited random acquaintances asking (and it does happen), that's a little offensive.  It's none of your business, there, Captain D-bag!
  7. Do you tag friends and family in pictures that you post on FB, or do you seek permission first?  I tend to tag those that I know are ok with it, anyone else I figure will just tag themselves (or not).
  8. Can you be friends with people who have opposing views on ‘taboo’ topics?  Of course.  Though over the years I have lost friends because of said 'taboo' topics.  Not because we disagreed, or because of their opinions- but because they could not respect me.  I have no problem with anyone's beliefs- but I DO have a problem with them being forced on me or being told that I am wrong.  Let's just agree to disagree, and if we can't have an intelligent debate we should probably avoid the topic altogether.

Weigh-in Day #9- Stabilization

Well, I only lost .2lbs this week (making me 273.2).

For a second, I wanted to be mad about it.  I did so well this week and blah blah...

Then I remembered my behavior was 'meh' last week, and I lost quite a bit.

So, it all balances out in the end...

Onward to this week (and hopefully some better numbers)!

Meh, I'll take it!

Also, yesterday's post was a lot more interesting... just sayin'.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Oops, I bought it.

I went shopping tonight, because I needed a dress to wear to my cousin's wedding at the end of the month.

I found a dress.

It is absolutely NOT wedding appropriate.

I did not need two dresses, I did not really have the money for two dresses.

But I did NOT put it back.

Because I feel fucking SEXY in it.  I feel like I look good, and damnit, how often do you find something that makes you feel like that?!

I know for me it's almost never.

It's wayy short, and sparkly, and maybe a little slutty, and I'll probably never have an excuse to wear it... but oh freaking well- it's mine now!

AND- I found an 'appropriate' dress and two shirts!  THAT ALL FIT IN ONE SHOPPING TRIP!  That is epic!  I never find multiple things that look good at once!

I've really been needing a confidence boost lately.  I haven't been feeling like I'm making any progress... and I obviously haven't gotten that far yet- but this is big.  Actually wanting to go out in public in something form fitting.

And- I started guitar lessons today.  I've been feeling kind of lost and out of touch with myself for a while now.  Guitar is something I always wanted to learn, but didn't have the time for.  So I decided it was time to do something for MYSELF.  To try and get back to feeling like me.

And I LOVED it.  My teacher was really cool, and said I wasn't half as bad as he was anticipating (which I will take, lol).  The guy that runs the place was cool too- and after my lesson we just stood and talked music for a while.  Me!  With two other grown-ups!  That I don't know!  About stuff I love!  And I didn't get all anxious or worry about seeming dumb or if they thought I was fat.  It was just normal... like I used to be.

Yeah.  I feel almost good about myself.

All in all, great day for me (bad night for my Visa)!!!

Friday, October 7, 2011


Mini-binge!  I caught myself... but only about 400 calories in.  Crap.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Weigh-in Day- Week #8: Well, that's better!

I stepped on the scale Monday, fully expecting a week of relative plateau... even possibly another slight gain.

I had been significantly better last week than the weeks previous, but I still indulged much more than I prefer to admit.  I had, however, been getting all (ok, most) of my water and remembering to take my medication (I have PCOS and take Metformin to help regulate my insulin receptors).

I think I often forget how much the Met helps me.  I think I subconsciously avoid it sometimes, because it makes me feel kinda... well, blah.  It also makes me crave sugar (because of how it affects my blood sugar levels), which makes staying on track even a bit harder since that's the main thing I need to avoid...

But, I guess there's definitely something to be said for mindfulness (and, you know, proper metabolic function), because I'm down.

Down 4.6, to be exact.

That brings my weight to 273.4 (which means I'm .9 pounds lighter than I was before the behavioral debacles and gain).

I'm thrilled with that.  I feel like I'm back on track, and a little more realistic.

I can be really hard on myself sometimes, which in turn gets me all discouraged, which in turn...

Well, you all know how crazy works. ;-)

I'm just happy to know that so long as I am AWARE of what I'm doing, I make progress.

Not as much as when I'm borderline obsessive about it- but I can't sustain rigidity like that.  My life is too busy and I am far too easily distracted to calculate every calorie consumed and burned.  I'll save my obsessing for good bands and celebrity crushes, thankyouverymuch.

This is not really a new discovery.  I am always intellectually aware when I'm being ridiculous... but sometimes it just doesn't register.  I hope I can remember it this time.

So, my new plan:

Keep myself more organized.  In all areas, not just weight loss.  It's easy to 'not have time' for exercise (, remembering to update blogs and vlogs)  when I have a million things to do.  It's harder to ignore it when it's on the 'to do' list instead of being a separate thing to keep track of.

Move every day (at least a little, though preferably a lot).  If I have time for the gym or a 'hardcore' workout, that's great.  Ideal even.  But when I don't, or when I really don't want to, I have to remember to just do something (I may or may not have multi-tasked cardio and breaking in a pair of heels by slapping them on and dancing around my living room like a hoochie for half an hour.  When no one was home, of course.  I'm calling that a chick WIN.).

Be more mindful of what I eat.  I don't have time to weigh and measure every little thing, but I know what I should and should not be eating; I know about how big a serving size is (it's roughly half of however much I want, haha.).  If I eat well all day, and then have a cookie and hot chocolate (probably with an obscene amount of whipped cream), big fucking deal.  It's still a good day.  It's still a reasonable intake.  I'm totally kidding myself to think that 'junk' is completely off the table... a little here and there will keep me from stabbing people anyway.

That's where my head is at right now.

I can do this, damnit.

(Accompanying blog will be up ASAP.  Having some issues with Windows Movie Maker.)

(Yes, I understand that using Windows Movie Maker is an issue in and of itself.  Because it's crap.)