LilySlim Weight loss tickers

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Missed Weigh-in

So, I forgot to weigh in on Sunday... and Monday was busy... and...

So, unofficially it's 244.8... but it was just now.  Wrong day wrong time, whatever... ballpark is better then nothing.

I'm having a lot of mental drama lately.  Living with my parents is, unfortunately, making me feel like I'm a teenager again... back in the headspace from then.

Mucho no bueno.

I had a great talk with the boy about it today, I feel a little better.  I'm really looking for a therapist in the area (but my insurance sucks and there are few providers with ED experience in the first place...).

Hopefully soon.

Also, someone has been harassing me to get a bikini.  I love that he loves me the way I am... and I'm trying to get there, too.

So, here's my first challenge:

How to get a bikini body (for me):

1- buy bikini
2- hyperventilate slightly*
3- put bikini on

How to share that bikini body (in my case):

1- repeat bikini body steps
2- panic a little*
3- look in a mirror
4- rearrange a few things
5- have boyfriend say encouraging things*
6- hand over the camera
7- take a picture
8- select a picture
9- upload picture
10- hit post (whilst hyperventilating*)

**these steps optional

So there's that...

Monday, May 20, 2013

Another Shaky Week

I forgot to weigh in Sunday morning (if that's any indicator of whether or not my head was in the game this week).  I woke up a little late to get to work (which is impressive considering I don''t leave my house until 9 on the weekends), and just ran out the door, never even registering what day it was.


I weighed in this morning (I figure the next day at the right time is marginally better than the right day at a random hour.  Meh.  Who really knows.).


That's .8 this week.

Register my utter shock at any loss at all.

I didn't go on a crazy binge or anything, but there were days I didn't track, and days I decided I just wanted the damn chips.

And a fairly consistent LACK of effort in the exercise department.

Urgh.  I'm trying here.

Not as obviously as one might wish (aka, in the diet and exercise department), but on my mental state (aka, get a damn grip, girl).

I'm going to be more consistent this week.  Emotionally and physically.

One foot in front of the other.

Here goes.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Week 3: Some rewards are bigger than the numbers on the scale.

I'm 246.2 this week.

That's .8 down.

Considering how big a struggle last week was (and there was a little spillover to the weekend with the cold and everything), and that my eating was not ideal (I was a little over 2000 a day or two this week.  No bueno.), I'm thrilled to see any loss at all.

It gets frustrating that I can't cut my intake down... I have to eat every few hours at work.  I do hot, physical work all day...  I swing jobs at a hotel- I started as a housekeeper, now I'm in the laundry.  Wet towels are shitting HEAVY and it's gets swelteringly hot in there... and humid... and ugh.  Some days it gets to the point I actually get woozy if I don't eat and drink fairly constantly.  That would be fine if my habits didn't dictate that I eat 'most' of my calories at night... but they do.  I'm always STARVING at night.  I'm figuring it out...

More important than the scale, my workouts have been going really well.

I've been jogging every other day... which I didn't think I would be able to do at all.  I have plantar fascitis in my heel (mostly from standing on concrete at work, slightly from my weight- it was worse before I lost weight, and stayed away until I started my job.). So I'm running 'couch to 5k' style.  90-120 seconds jogging and walking alternated, and It's been working out great.  I do 3 sets of 5 mins walk/jogging alternated with 2 sets of freeweight upper body work every other day, and 20 mins walk/jog the other days- plus abs every day (except my one rest day).  I'm liking it.  I'm sure I'll get bored and switch it up again soon, but hey.  A lot of days Mr. Wonderful does a couple of sets lifing with me (and then goes and eats snacks while I finish... skinny fucker, lol), which is great.

Also more important than the scale, I've been making consistently good choices.

Even when I 'overeat' I'm making decent decisions most of the time.  Once or twice I accidentally ate my feelings... but most times I simply eat because I'm hungry.  ANd most times it's 'real food.'  And even when I've given into junk, I've measured out servings of whichever thing got me.  ANd I consistently get myself to exercise, even if it's nothing major.

Super more important than the scale, I am loved and supported.

It's an amazing feeling.  One I definitely never had with my ex.  Mr. Wonderful isn't entirely on the bandwagon with me losing weight (he loves my body the way it is), but he understands that it's important to me, and tells me he loves me no matter what.  He doesn't particularly 'need' to work out, but he's in that room with me a lot of times.  He stays out of my 'business' when it comes to my eating (because he understands it an 'addiction' issue and how triggers work), but will occasionally mention he's proud or that I'm doing a good job avoiding junk.  And my favorite moment was the other morning.  I was standing in our little kitchen area and he came over to give me a hug and say goodmorning.  After he held me for a second he said, "I don't want you to be alarmed, but there seems to be less of you...".  It's so incredibly sweet that he even notices.  I'm a lucky girl.

And he's right, too.  There is 'less' of me.  The weight isn't exactly melting away at a blinding pace, but I feel better.  I can feel muscle coming back and clothes are a little looser already.  I'm excited to be 'in shape' again.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Week Two: Hectic Boogaloo

I had a miserable week.

Work sucked.  Emotional stuff sucked.  And now I have a freaking cold.

But I jogged a bit for the first time in a while.  And I stayed mostly on plan (except one day where I was an emotional wreck- for external reasons- and I didn't really eat.  In retrospect, however, I have decided I was not deliberately restricting, but rather just so upset I couldn't bear to eat.  Still not good, but better than comforting with food/controlling a situation by not eating).

And I lost 2.2.

I had hoped for bigger losses these first few weeks (only because I do expect it will slow down soon enough), but still not too shabby.

I think I'll take it.